Albert Hoxton: I could be wrong but I believe they are collection of Scottish lesbians often found in the suntan lotion section of Boots.
Funbongo: No Albert, no.
Penelope Hoxton: The Dykeenies are “Fucking Brilliant” if we’re to quote anyone from Trainspotting. Vocally strong and proving they’re one of the tightest bands on the block by sounding like they’re on record yet we’re watching them live. The Dykeenies should have been wowing Whiley (she means Tim Westwood, not Jo Whiny) rather than Lamacq (must mean T Dawg Trevor Nelson) at The 100 Club.
Who Listens To The Dykeenies?
Albert Hoxton: Anne Summers? Sean Connery, he is Scottish?
Funbongo: None of the above. Mainly 'kids in the Know'. NB 'Know' is a small island off the coast of Birmingham.
Penelope Hoxton: With big shout outs to producer legends (Timbaland?) and also cake bearers, The Dykeenies showed they clearly have fans from the highbrow studios to the local patisseries across the Kingdom. They definitely have an edge (no Bono thankfully) to them. They effortlessly mixed 'get into your head' catchy poppie songs (destined for success) with their 'hard as nails' Scottish roots.
The Dykeenies - New Ideas
What Was Their Banter Like?
Albert: Me didn't listen, they were all boys.
Funbongo: I think it was good but we don't speak Scotlish.
Penelope Hoxton: Chief vocalist and keyboard/synth player Brian Henderson (does he know Bigfoot?) could be a stand up comedian if he weren’t a passionate Dykeenie performer. At home with cracking gags that clearly only the Dykeenie brothers and friends “get”, the rest of the crowd were left baffled by Henderson’s razor sharp quick wit and incoherent Scottish accent. However, the audience was clearly charmed and chuckled away to his good humour and chat show host alter ego (More Alan Partrige than Wogan).
What Were The Higlights of The Show?
Albert Hoxton: Errrrrrr...this fit girl next to me had like some blondie highlights, she also had some Japanese slave girls called Harry and Chu Chu I think. Am I being interrogated again here? I have already explained why I fled the foreign legion.
Funbongo: The encore?
Penelope Hoxton: Panic, Things You Cannot See (arrr Ghosts!!!), Pick You Up, Waiting For Go, and current single New Ideas are by far their best songs but arguably Clean Up Yours Eyes and Stitches could be up there with the best.
The Dykeenies - Waiting For Go
Who Was There?
Albert Hoxton: People, there were definitely some people there.
Funbongo: I agree, some boys and some girls. I saw a UFO outside so maybe some aliens too.
Penelope Hoxton: Screaming, dancing hotties and lads alike. All respectfully nodding their heads; the impact of the songs clearly packed the punch.
Joss Stone - Tell Me What We're Gonna Do Now Ft Common
What Marks Would You Give Out of 14.4?
Albert:
Funbongo: Albert has left to get his hands waxed. 12.1 I guess, wasn't there but their songs are cool.
Penelope Hoxton: 12.9 - The Dykeenies are what they are and you can like it or lump it because they’re proud of who they are and what they’re bringing from the highlands to a town near you.
Funbongo: Well....Penelope told us.
The Dykeenies - New Ideas (Kissy Sell Out Mix)
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