Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Mika Kills Kasabian

Public Service Announcement - The post below is a guest contribution by Filthy Few Ron Burgandy/Anchorman Firas. Fun Bongo are great friends of The Filthy Few; we love their nights and podcasts. However our musical tastes often differ greatly.

As such, Fun Bongo has scribbled all over Firas' skool report. We love de-facement. All the 'normal' text is Firas' review. Fun Bongo is responsible for all the bold text in (brackets)
We have been very objective.

After a whirlwind of gigs in the last 2 weeks I've finally managed to drag my cranium out of the alcohol (he means crack, he lives in Holloway) haze I had descended in to and sit and attempt to maintain a concentration span better than that of a goldfish. So far in writing this sentence, I've turned on the TV (Channel U), gone to the bathroom (don't want to know), checked on Britney's latest turn (she is in our thoughts), brushed my teeth (halitosis), checked my mobile phone for messages (none) and made a cup of tea before brushing my teeth again (definitely halitosis). This could turn out to be a long and hazardous journey pop pickers.

KASAB...(can't type the whole name; its too painful)



So first up were the wonders of Kasabian (they are dreadful). Having been given the seal of approval by Liam Gallagher and the rest of the Oasis clan (who? Its not 1996 anymore) - it seems as though it's given these Leicester rockers the license to further mimic the monkey moves of Liam (Brady the former Arsenal player) and the electric song writing ability of Noel (Coward?).

Making their return to the UK (from where? Guantanamo Bay?) - the four (unwashed) scruffs hammered the crowd with a barrage of hits (I don't know the name of any of their terrible '(s)hits')and pint in the air classics (loose use of the word) for the NME (ugly man's Smash Hits) Awards Show. Set within the more intimate confines of Hammersmith Palais (its an absolute shithole, I saw Justin there; he was far better) - they seemed pretty pleased to see the fee paying public again

Front man Tom Mehigan (seriously, who?) opened the set declaring 'It's good to be back in England, you f***kers' (you so cool Tom). Charming.
Blasting off with 'Shoot The Runner' - a technical problem (this means one of the losers played the wrong song) meant the venue's main speakers cut out for most of the song (what a result!). Ploughing through like true pro's though (give them a medal), they decided to enter into a rendition of other famous (criminal) Leicester dwellers 'Shawoddywaddy' to make amends....and boy they did.



Knocking out songs at the rate Liam knocks out baby's and photographers - the band played 15 numbers (I think he means songs) in total - finishing on the epic (47 minutes long) 'L.S.F.'
Intimate, small (smelly) and special (!!!!!). Now more used to stadiums and larger venues (Firas' garage) - it was a privilege to see such a large band (they are really fat) fill a room so small...


MIKA

Next up was Mika who, after pulling out of his gig in Brighton, had managed to stay in and get better - thanks.

After much excitement, anticipation and a little waiting around - the man with his name at the top of both album and singles (not anymore) charts finally appeared...well I wouldn't say appeared, more like air walked on stage (Mika=Aled Jones) in a way that could only be described as 'Dale Winton on the snap, crackle and pop. Certain members of the press who were present were now well and truly dumbfounded by why the man won't answer questions on his sexuality (because its really important to know, is he a gayer? Is he not? Controversial Mika, very 2007).



Opening with the little known classic (that's going a bit far) that is 'Relax' - Mika excited the crowd, controlled the crowd and made sure that everyone had a pretty damn good time (generous guy). Comparisons to Freddie Mercury have been around for a while, something that old Mika doesn't take too kindly too (especially after he ripped off the Queen back catalog and bought a piano Mercury once owned) but it's easy to see why such observations have been made as he writhes around the stage like a man possessed (call the Ghostbusters).



The stage production was outstanding - it was like the village people back in the old school (unseen) as the lights on stage hypnotised each members of the audience (into epileptic fits). When Mika decided he wanted to sing about big ladies, he brought fat ladies on stage. When he decided he wanted to sing in the dark - someone turned the lights out...it was amazing (it was so the fat ladies could steal your wallet).



Finishing the show with an amazing display of big balls, glitter canons, big girls, cheeky girls and two men in monkey suits - it was as if Camden's Koko had been transformed into a mystical, magical wonderland (Neverland Raunch) - until we got outside and some kids (Kasabian) tried to nick my phone. (Dizzee) Rascals.

THE KILLERS


Finally, perhaps the gig I was excited about the most. I think everyone has an album from a particular time in their life that acts as a soundtrack to said particular time (For me its Spice Girls - Forever, people ignore the brilliant Darkchild production). For me it's the Killers album 'Hot Fuss' (how 'out there' to like the Killers), quite possibly one of the most listened to albums on my iPod (what about the James Blunt live Bedlum album?) - the chance to catch the Vegas' group live on stage was all too much. It had to be done (no it didn't).



Seeing them on interviews and in the press before had never impressed me (they are absoulte tossers, even their parents hate them). They came across as morons on more than one (every) occasion - once when I saw them on the TV at an awards ceremony where they looked about as disinterested as George Michael at a beauty pageant (don't get it).






What they lack in personality (is a lot) though they make up for in their music (debatable). Taking a short break between songs lead singer 'Brandon (The Ego) Flowers' admitted 'I wasn't born with the gift of the gab (what gift was he born with? The gift of slagging off glorious EMO?) , but that was, and this song is....'. Super.

Where's Liam Gallagher to incite some riot or mosh of some sort when you need him (Liam was at an All Saints gig at Bromley Primary).



Unfortunately it seems that Las Vegas weather has gone to their head and they've never been programmed with the ability to make a descent set-list (songs). As the encore came, they'd seemingly covered the large majority of their stompers. Mr Brightside would've been the perfect close to the show - there was a worry that these Yanks had burn't out early. Not so.

Blisteringly good. I do actually have blisters on my feet now to prove it - they will be on ebay next week in the form of dead skin.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

The Furtado Show

Bravo! The Loose Circus Tour came to town. There were like backing dancers, security men, one overzealous screaming/fainting fan (Albert), an LCD Screen, musicians, lights, costumes changes, cover versions and even an encore.

What more could you want? Well we also got Canada's third favourite export behind Alanis and Morissette - Nelly Furtado. She is also Portuguese but I don't know anything about Portugal or what they export. Christiano Ronaldo perhaps? They have similar hair but she scores more often. Promiscuous

Impressive voice. The only bad thing was that she missed a trick by not performing the song she done did with that Kelly one from Destiny's Child. You know? That one that sounds like a nursery rhyme and goes 'I love and I need you Nelly, I love you, I do Need you'. Apart from that she entertained good and proper.

Do It



Try

Moments later Nelly whipped off the wig to reveal a bald head with a tatoo saying 'Team Britney'



Loose



Nelly, disguised as Monica Gellar, searches the crowd for man dinner.



There is one



What a multi-tasker. Nelly shows off her rare 'Gibson Afro' guitar.



Now she is 'air DJing'.



Bling Bling. Nelly subtlety checks her watch and wonders if she will be home in time for 'The Red Shoe Diaries' on Channel 5.



I'm like a peacock?



Nelly told MTV about meeting her idols Oasis at The Brits:

"I've met Noel Gallagher before, but (after the awards) I ran over to Liam and said, ‘Hi, hi, I’m Nelly, I’m a big fan, and you were great tonight’, and he went, ‘Oh right - I like your song’, and I’m like, ‘Which one? 'All Good Things Come To An End'? And he’s like, ‘Yeh, that one', and I’m like, ‘Chris Martin helped me write it', and then he goes, ‘Oh, then I hate it, it’s rubbish.

Monday, February 19, 2007

A Shot of The Amy

House Wine's performance was mixed, so were her drinks - ha ha (that is my only alcohol related joke I promise)



Amy looks like a Pop Star - Tick.
Amy has a wonderful voice - Tick.
Amy has a brilliant second album (stand up Mr Ronson) - Tick.
Amy is a character on and off the stage - Tick.



Wino is not a natural performer, she seemed nervous - Cross.
Wino's mic was not loud enough - Cross.
Wino's set was fairly bland - Cross.



Poor Amy attracted a flat crowd. She is only 23 and it probably isn't that inspiring to perform to a bunch of middle aged female Radio Two-ites who only leave home for Anne Summers parties and Women's Institute meetings. I felt at home. Winehouse is more used to sloshery, fuckary and piss artery; not Desperate Housewives and a hot mug of coco.



In some ways she reminded me of Peter Doherty. She forgot some words, was questionably sober and slightly on another planet. However, the truth is that Doherty is a supreme performer. He charms, compels and his fixates his followers effortlessly. Amy doesn't have this gift.

Thankfully her speaking voice seems to be improving, she didn't sound like Dean Gaffney on crack this time.

6.5 out of 10. Room for improvement but fantastic potential.

Addicted

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Regina Spektor Live. Britney Needs To Speak To Frank?

Prettyhead

I find this shocking. I like that Britney got her hair 'did' BUT Fila? Seriously Miss Spears, never wear Fila instead of Nike again.

Britney Spears - What Its like To Be Me Ft Justin Timberlake




Regina Spektor


Regina predicted Britney's hair liberation - Samson

Sweet Russian New Yorkie Regina may not have shaved her head this weekend but she did woo an eager London crowd. The Bronx and Moscow have combined to create a unique girl. She is classically trained, pitch perfect and very witty.

Après Moi



Us




She managed to sing, play the piano with her left hand and the drums/chair with her right hand.



She did it all on her own really, she didn't need her band.



Better

Calvin Harris Live

Calvin Harris was/is superb. What he lacks in vocal ability he makes up for in production value. He is more like Les Rythmes Digitales than Daft Punk. More Whitney than Bobby. More Kate (according to NME she was there, she didn't make herself known to me so I don't believe it) then Peter. More Scarlett than Cameron. More Diddy than Puff.

The 'club' night was hosted by that Danny from Embrace. I think they were some Brit-Nu-Indie band that had a couple of hits during the 50's. They might have penned the Blue Peter theme tune.

We saw Sadie Frost in the pub before. She gave us the cold shoulder.

Albert was there after finishing his stint in rehab, he was addicted to Rudebox and thought it was the best way to meet Robbie Williams. It worked and they are now snooker chums. Starting today, Bert has given up water for Lent. He knows its early but he wants to get a head start on everyone.



He looks like Duncan Loser from Blue here



Showing off the famous Digit Dance


Rock Band

You can't see me


Myspace

That slap was more painful then anticipated; must try not to show your injured.



All Saints - Rock Steady (Calvin Harris Remix)


Is that the ghost of Top Of The Pops in the corner?

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Scarlett Yo Yohansson is Love/Stoned



Things were going swimmingly until...

"Yo I told you not to mention NSTINK, I mean *NSYNC"



What Goes Around...Comes Around (Ode To Elisha Cuthbert, not Britney Spears)



Joss Stone




Joss returns with:

New scarlett red/purple hair = Unnecessary.
Always unheard of but never out played Super Producer Rapahel Saadiq = Genius.
Grown up lyrical content = She rhymes 'real', 'deal' and 'feel'.
A new song called Tell me 'bout it = Perfect
A new album with Saadiq, Common and looney Lauryn Hill = ?

New Video with Raphael in = below



Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)