Monday, May 7, 2007

I See You Baby, Shakin' That Rudebox


Groove Armada

Sheik Shiraz Hoxton (Firas?) went to this. Albert and Funbongo were busy stunting on Joes, not giving a muthaphuck and spreading gossip. Here is Sheik Shiraz Hoxton's report from the launch:

Sheik Shiraz Hoxton: Supposedly Mark E. Smith from closed the curtain on one of the most iconic venues in London's music history (Hammersmith Palais) after it was condemned to be demolished on 22nd January 2007.

Closing in April 2007 - Kasabian (Filthy Few's Firas attended this guitar-a-tron - mullet-a-thon session), Jamie T (Funbongo went) and The Good The Bad And The Queen were some of the last to perform.

Albert Z Hoxton:
Who is Mark E Smith? What does the E stand for? Egg?

Funbongo:
Justin Timberlake was good there last summer

Sheik Shiraz Hoxton
Just imagine my shock when yesterday an email 'bombed' its way into my inbox requesting the pleasure of my company at a gig to celebrate the 'launch' of Groove Armada's new album.

Groove Armada - Song 4 Mutya

At first I was convinced it was all a ploy. Were the owners being measly and not willing to 'shell' out for a demolition expert? Did they want some sort of home made jam and honey device that I could potentially conjure up in my garden shed after my training deep in the Pakistani hills?



I wasn't sure, so I decided to play it safe. Instead of donning my full commando Jihad gear, I equipped myself in full civilian gear, akin to those indie kids I see walking round that Camden area. I left my standard issue jacket and rucksack at home for fear of metal detectors and airport style security.

Groove Armada - Feel The Same Ft Angie Stone




Some western band called Groove Armada were playing out some music that made people dance in crazy ways. This was not the familiar Abdhul Wahed 'Greatest Hit's' I became accustomed to during my time in the hills, nor was it the teaching of Abu 'The Spoon' Hamza. The dance moves too seemed very dated; for some reason they did not know how to do the 'Cantanata' nor the '1,2,3 - detonate'. I was met with vacant stares and curious expression when I started whipping these little numbers out.



Groove Armada - Paris


Anyway, this band were equipped with some sort of satellite control pad and what seemed to be screens that sapped the images of the filthy consumerist's in the crowd - girls in bikinis dancing, lights and disco balls were all around; Groove Armada then had the cheek to bring on an infidel by the name of "Mutya" who was once part of some band called "The Sugababes" for their new single.



Disgruntled by the vast displays of flesh, copious consumption of alcohol and sheer lack of respect for my native tongue (there was some guy on stage who seemed really angry and kept talking in a dialect I have yet to study and learn - he said words like 'blud', 'groove armada stylie', 'feeling dat vibe', 'maximisiing' and 'superstylin'. I began to wonder whether I'd been duped into attending some sort of infidel brainwashing session. After casing the joint once last time (and meeting some guy who told me to 'freshen up for the punani' - something I told him was quite premature - I had only reached stage 2 of my master plan and would not be greeting the 99 virgins just yet) I left and headed to the nearest public toilet so that I could wash myself of this terrible filth.

Filthy Few Podcast 15 Download this (is not) shit; its free




Here is the new Joss Stone video. Albert had to upload it to youtube. Unsurprisingly its odd. Once Common and Raphael Saadiaq get involved it makes more sense. Amazing song, brilliant album. We LOVE HER; even though its not 'kool' to do so....

Joss Stone - Tell Me What Your Gonna Do Ft Common

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