What is the 'Ghetto pass'? Well, its an imaginary nod of approval from the black community to a white artist making 'black music'. Does it really exist? Not really; apart from on the internet. It can be quite fickle and some get it easier than others. Its stupid because 'Urban' music has become the biggest selling mass music genre in the world and so the imaginary approval of the black community is not necessary - they don't represent a large enough percentage of the record buying market. Urban music has become so popular that most of it is actually 'pop' now anyway. Here are some of the white folk that have applied for the pass:
See Stefani and the L.A.M.B
Oh Gweny Gwen Gwen, what happened with the second album? Artists should realise its never good to admit that your 'new' album is made up of the left overs from the last one. It doesn't sound good does it? She caught Pharrell on terrible form and we have 'Wind it up' and 'Yummy' as a result. I hate to admit it but the highlight of the album is the track written by Akunt, I mean Akon.
Sweet Escape (iTunes Link)
Gwen obtained her ghetto pass from Dr Dre and Eve. After her latest effort she should send it back and hollaback to No Doubt sooner rather than later.
Thicke Robin
Robin is the former lead singer of his totally unknown band 'Thicke'. He has been around for ages and done zip commercially. In the last few years he has written some very average songs for Will Young and Ronan Keating. Its unfortunate really because he is very talented. He is a victim of writing too many bland songs, poor/non-existent marketing and record company politics. For every great tune he composes there are four totally forgettable ones, his album suffers as a consequence.
He was signed by the confusing Pharrell Williams two years ago and the album got pushed back with every Pharrell delay. The album leaked (not that anyone really knew who he was to download it) and was then rehashed and released late last year. It got no real press. I wanted to put some itunes links on here but its not even been put on there; what a mess...
Poor Robin has been granted a ghetto pass and is well loved by bloggers (we all love posting pictures of him when he had long hair and looked like Jesus Christ Superstar) but is not destined to be star in his own right; he will have to be content writing the new Usher LP.
Here he is with the best 'Lil' rapper, Wayne
By Jamie Scott
Alas! Jamie never got the chance to apply for a pass, he was criminally dumped by his record company after 'just' (the name of one of his songs) two singles. He is currently living on Myspace trying to get signed to another major. Good luck
Troubled Mind (iTunes link)
HRH Fergie
The interesting looking one. Fergie, bless her, isn't taken seriously enough for anyone to question the validity of her Ghetto Pass. For some reason she gave up singing when she went solo and made some very strange songs. Her album has a few ok songs but is mainly a rushed Will-i-am side project. Maybe he never forgave her for erasing one of his songs off his Apple Mac during a hilarious practical joke.
Big Girls Dont Cry (iTunes link)
Just Timberlake
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Vibe recently revoked Justin's ghetto pass because of Janet Jackson's Nipplegate and these lyrics:
“Could you speak up and stop mumbling / I don’ t think you’re even clear / When you’re sitting on the top / It’s hard to hear you from way up there / I saw you tryin’ to act cute on TV / ‘Just let me clear the air’ / We missed you on the charts last week / Damn, that’s right. You wasn’t there.”
They believe Justin is mouthing off about Janet Jackson. Actually its far more likely he is talking about Kevin Federline, it makes much more sense with the timing of the track's recording and Federline's failed album. Anyway, who gives a shit about Janet? Her last two albums have been terrible, a huge blow to her, Jermaine Dupri and Virgin Records. If she expects to shift units into her 40's she has to make good music that is at least as radio friendly as Ciara and Rihanna.
Vibe's stance is an extremely weak one given the evidence they are basing it on. Justin's hugely successful current album (almost 3 million sold in the USA) and a new video with Scarlett Johansson show he doesn't need their imaginary pass.
My Love D-Cup Send up
They would be better spent lamenting Eminem's abuse of Michael Jackson. BET (Black Entertainment Television) banned his video because he was attacking a black idol. Very strange indeed. Eminem should not have gone at Michael Jackson, not because 'Eminem is a white guy making black music', but because its disrespectful to a great artist and worst still, Slim Shady himself. Eminem is one of the most talented rappers of all time, what skill is there in going at such an easy and defenseless target as Michael Jackson? Wow, Michael Jackson is crazy, well done on picking up on that Eminem, really clever.
Marshall and Kevy (not that he ever got one) are much better candidates for de-ghettofying (maybe not a word)
Fed-X and Eminem should watch this amazing clip.....
Lebron James. This isn't relevant but is mighty clever..
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