Scarlett Yo Yohansson is Love/Stoned

Things were going swimmingly until...

"Yo I told you not to mention NSTINK, I mean *NSYNC"



What Goes Around...Comes Around (Ode To Elisha Cuthbert, not Britney Spears)



Joss Stone



Joss returns with:

New scarlett red/purple hair = Unnecessary.
Always unheard of but never out played Super Producer Rapahel Saadiq = Genius.
Grown up lyrical content = She rhymes 'real', 'deal' and 'feel'.
A new song called Tell me 'bout it = Perfect
A new album with Saadiq, Common and looney Lauryn Hill = ?

New Video with Raphael in = below



Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)

G.H.E.T.T.O. PASS?

This is almost a mute point but it seemed a good way to link a bunch of artists I wanted to mention.

What is the 'Ghetto pass'? Well, its an imaginary nod of approval from the black community to a white artist making 'black music'. Does it really exist? Not really; apart from on the internet. It can be quite fickle and some get it easier than others. Its stupid because 'Urban' music has become the biggest selling mass music genre in the world and so the imaginary approval of the black community is not necessary - they don't represent a large enough percentage of the record buying market. Urban music has become so popular that most of it is actually 'pop' now anyway. Here are some of the white folk that have applied for the pass:

See Stefani and the L.A.M.B



Oh Gweny Gwen Gwen, what happened with the second album? Artists should realise its never good to admit that your 'new' album is made up of the left overs from the last one. It doesn't sound good does it? She caught Pharrell on terrible form and we have 'Wind it up' and 'Yummy' as a result. I hate to admit it but the highlight of the album is the track written by Akunt, I mean Akon.

Sweet Escape (iTunes Link)

Gwen obtained her ghetto pass from Dr Dre and Eve. After her latest effort she should send it back and hollaback to No Doubt sooner rather than later.


Thicke Robin



Robin is the former lead singer of his totally unknown band 'Thicke'. He has been around for ages and done zip commercially. In the last few years he has written some very average songs for Will Young and Ronan Keating. Its unfortunate really because he is very talented. He is a victim of writing too many bland songs, poor/non-existent marketing and record company politics. For every great tune he composes there are four totally forgettable ones, his album suffers as a consequence.

He was signed by the confusing Pharrell Williams two years ago and the album got pushed back with every Pharrell delay. The album leaked (not that anyone really knew who he was to download it) and was then rehashed and released late last year. It got no real press. I wanted to put some itunes links on here but its not even been put on there; what a mess...

Poor Robin has been granted a ghetto pass and is well loved by bloggers (we all love posting pictures of him when he had long hair and looked like Jesus Christ Superstar) but is not destined to be star in his own right; he will have to be content writing the new Usher LP.

Here he is with the best 'Lil' rapper, Wayne



By Jamie Scott



Alas! Jamie never got the chance to apply for a pass, he was criminally dumped by his record company after 'just' (the name of one of his songs) two singles. He is currently living on Myspace trying to get signed to another major. Good luck

Troubled Mind (iTunes link)

HRH Fergie



The interesting looking one. Fergie, bless her, isn't taken seriously enough for anyone to question the validity of her Ghetto Pass. For some reason she gave up singing when she went solo and made some very strange songs. Her album has a few ok songs but is mainly a rushed Will-i-am side project. Maybe he never forgave her for erasing one of his songs off his Apple Mac during a hilarious practical joke.

Big Girls Dont Cry (iTunes link)

Just Timberlake



Vibe recently revoked Justin's ghetto pass because of Janet Jackson's Nipplegate and these lyrics:

“Could you speak up and stop mumbling / I don’ t think you’re even clear / When you’re sitting on the top / It’s hard to hear you from way up there / I saw you tryin’ to act cute on TV / ‘Just let me clear the air’ / We missed you on the charts last week / Damn, that’s right. You wasn’t there.”


They believe Justin is mouthing off about Janet Jackson. Actually its far more likely he is talking about Kevin Federline, it makes much more sense with the timing of the track's recording and Federline's failed album. Anyway, who gives a shit about Janet? Her last two albums have been terrible, a huge blow to her, Jermaine Dupri and Virgin Records. If she expects to shift units into her 40's she has to make good music that is at least as radio friendly as Ciara and Rihanna.

Vibe's stance is an extremely weak one given the evidence they are basing it on. Justin's hugely successful current album (almost 3 million sold in the USA) and a new video with Scarlett Johansson show he doesn't need their imaginary pass.

My Love D-Cup Send up

They would be better spent lamenting Eminem's abuse of Michael Jackson. BET (Black Entertainment Television) banned his video because he was attacking a black idol. Very strange indeed. Eminem should not have gone at Michael Jackson, not because 'Eminem is a white guy making black music', but because its disrespectful to a great artist and worst still, Slim Shady himself. Eminem is one of the most talented rappers of all time, what skill is there in going at such an easy and defenseless target as Michael Jackson? Wow, Michael Jackson is crazy, well done on picking up on that Eminem, really clever.

Marshall and Kevy (not that he ever got one) are much better candidates for de-ghettofying (maybe not a word)

Fed-X and Eminem should watch this amazing clip.....




Lebron James. This isn't relevant but is mighty clever..

Class of 2006

Here is my top 10 albums of the year. Chosen by 'which I would miss the most if it was taken from me'

1. Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds

As with his classic debt, Tin got two thirds of the way to a perfect album and then ran out of steam. Aided by Timbaland and Danja, Justin conjures up a pop master-class. The first six tracks merge perfectly together, a better first half you will not find (a la Justified). Will-i-am and Rick Rubin rock up later to lift the load from Timbo's shoulders adding a few more sex sounds to Timberlake's compelling sophomore LP.

1. P!nk - I'm not Dead

I couldn't choose between this and JT, he is only listed first because of the alphabet. 'Who Knew', 'U and Ur Hand' and 'Leave Me Alone Im Lonely' are unstoppable pop gems. Add in another nine very strong songs and you have a charming album, far better than her contemporaries. I didn't really like P!nk until I heard this album.

3. Jay-Z - Kingdom Come

There is something not quite right about this but I still can't put it down. I think its because he didn't really want to make this and its still the best rap album of the year. The Neptunes and Kanye West let Hova down but Justin Blaze, the Blazettes, Chris Martin (!?) and Dr Dre make-up for their embarrassment. Enjoy 44 fours live

3. Amy Winehouse - Back to Black

Wow Amy, well done. The best Soul album around. It never gets lost and showcases a talent that needs to be heard. The same style and sound remains through-out the album but because it is beautifully short you never tire of Mark Ronson's production. Needs rehab

5. Christina Aguilera - Back to Basics

Almost amazing, but not. Ruined by Xtina of course. However the first CD still has a collection of interesting pop productions that slide together happily until the last track. Most of CD 2 is terrible but it does have a couple of hits. Quality control and reality check please Christina

6. Lily Allen - Alright Still

The feisty one lived up to the hype and delivered an endearing, strong debut.

7. Nelly Furtado - Loose

Two of the best singles of the year followed up by the magic of Timbaland and Danja give Furtado a good album. It drops off in places and lacks a steady thread but a welcome change of direction by the Canadian Portuguese special lady.


8 Lupe Fiasco - Food and Liquor

A bright hope for the future of hip hop. Well produced, thoughtful songs. His only downfall is his lack of decent humour and slightly contradictory attitude.

9 Nas - Hip Hop is Dead

Essentially one of his better albums. Five or six great tracks which are far better than 99% of the other players.

10 Rhymefest - Blue Collar

Patchy album but pretty good. Rhymefest's personality translates fantastically on wax; somehow he collaborated with Ronson and the late ODB to make 'Build Me Up Buttercup' an enjoyable four minutes.

Here are my most loved songs of 2006, there are 11 of them. This is normal.

1.P!nk - Who Knew. Sounds better with each listen
2. Justin Timberlake - SexyBack- He made us dance again
3. Nelly Furtado - Maneater - Glorious
4. Robbie Williams - Lovelight - A Brand New Heavy, a Ronson and a Robbie is an electrifying combination
5. Pharrell Williams - Number One Ft Kanye West - Should have been a Michael record
6. Jay-Z - Prelude - Classic Jay
7. Amy Winehouse -Tears Dry on their own -Best track off the album
8. Nas - Cant forget about you - Vintage Esco
9. Omarion - Obsession - Probably best Neptunes of the year
10. JC Chasez - Until Yesterday - Marvelous co-writing with JT
10. The Game - Why you hate the Game Ft Nas - Just Blaze takes 'em to church in an epic nine minute adventure.

What to expect in 2007?

Britney - New album we guess. Maybe working with Pharrell, naybe not.



Duran Duran - Three tracks recorded with Timbabland and one with Justin.

Common


Maxwell - Three albums recorded and ready, one would be fine

Mariah Carey - Two albums. Again, just one would be a happy time.

Kylie - It would nice if she actually made a really good album.

D'Angelo - Its about time, lazy man. Two albums in 11 years is lame.

Usher - Working with Robin Thicke and Jay-Z. Lets hope its better then the shit shit shit Confessions album where he took the four best tracks off it because he didn't want to be linked to the Neptunes and therefore Justin...

JC Chasez - Forgotten *NSYNCer, probably be fantastic but get no press. Three tracks produced by Justin and Timbaland

Timbaland Solo Album- Justin, Nelly Furtado, Jay-Z and Elton John all on board

Talib Kweli - Ear Drum project. The four songs I have are good

Mos Def - A return to form

Joss Stone - Worked with Raphael Saadiq and Common, wise move. What I have is very strong

Eve - Its three years late luv

Air -Meant to be good

Bableshambles - I trust Peter

Amerie - First single...

T.I
Fabolous
Ja Rule
Nelly
R Kelly
Foxy Brown?
Mylo?
Basement Jaxx?

Eminem/Fiddy - Who Cares?

N*E*R*D, Dr Dre and Michael Jackson please