Albert Hoxton: Who? Funbongo: Never heard of him either... anyway Ophelia Hoxton went along to take her mind off the divorce from Albert.
What happened?
Ophelia Hoxton: So we got to the gig just as Elvis Perkins the support was starting. The songs he sang were mostly happy which made a nice change from your usual men singer songwriters whining about love. He had a trumpet player, violinist, viola player, and some weird accordion type guitar which was pretty classy. He definitely got the crowd going. Albert Hoxton: Like in Blades of Glory?
Chazz: We're gonna dance to one song, and one song only: "Lady Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas. "What you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk? I’m a get you, get you drunk, get you drunk off my lady humps, my humps, my humps, my lovely lady humps." Jimmy: [disgusted] I'm not skating to anything with references to lady humps. I don't even know what that means. Chazz: No one knows what it means, but it's provocative... Jimmy: No, it's not, it's gross... Chazz: ...It gets the people going!
Ophelia Hoxton: Then Willy turned up and he looked like he hadn’t made any effort. He was dressed in what you would wear to do your Saturday toilet cleaning.
As soon as he started singing that was all forgotten and yours truly was totally spellbound. I could wax lyrical about him for quite some time but I'll stop here.
Surprises: Ophelia Hoxton: He saved Oxygen to the end, which I suppose wasn't a surprise but a bit disappointing. The bassist broke a string at one point which meant that he had to entertain the crowd and he didn't really know what to do. That was pretty funny.
How did you find Shepherd's Bush?
I hate Shepherds Bush as a venue. The floor is flat and there were some tall people in front of me, and I'm pretty tall [Taller than Max anyway]. The sound quality was grand and when he was talking to the crowd you could hear what he was saying which is important.
What was his banter/interaction with the crowd like?
Excellent. Some idiots were shouting out requests and he dealt with it really well. He got into a bit of a bind with his guitar strap and the band played some comedy music while he was sorting it out which was also good. Rating out of 14.6:
The UK seems disinterested. However over 100 000 Yanks lapped it up this week, Shucks! All even more impressive given the huge push Universal have given Wino Stateside. Mo' Money Mo' Problems, go where you are loved young Joscelyn.
Ignoring chart positions, we love them all. Amy the least though because she slagged off Joss and was rubbish before she met Mark Ronson. Britain now has the three best 'Urban' female artists in the world. A very debatable claim (we will make it anyway, leave a comment if you disagree).
Albert says
'Is Mika one of dem three girls? Phuck Mary J Blige AKA The most over-rated artist of all time, the Brits gals rule A-OK'
This was the strangest gig of the year with Joss arriving an hour, not two and a half hours late. Sadly for her she was singing to a very skeptical industry heavy crowd. Josshua did herself no favours by naively starting the performance with a collection of new songs the crowd didn't know. The first half of the show was limp (without the Bizkit)
After 45 minutes of confusion and rambling Joss said goodnight and left the stage. The crowd was so disinterested they could barely generate enough noise to inspire the customary encore.
To her credit Joss saved the show with the second half; it was fantastic. She finally played to the crowd by performing some songs they knew. Joss then upped the ante during a 20 minute jamming session with her band; it was world class. Having struggled to adapt to the poor KOKO sound system in the first half, she bossed the stage and showcased the mouthwatering musicianship of her Raphael Saadiq led band. Renditions of 'Son of a Preacher Man' and Luther's 'Never Too Much' finally gave the crowd something to cheer about.
Joss' gig/showcase received a lot of bad press, some of it was justified. I am not really sure why the Winehouse thought she should take shots at Joss during her BBC 1 Session (aired 09/03/07). Those in glass houses Amy...
The BBC session seems to have been filmed on Wednesday, just before Amy Housewine went on the lash and canceled her two London gigs. It was horrible performance, a real let down for her fans. Joss may have played a misguided set but she wasn't drunk and actually wanted to be there.
Step forward Lily, she may not have the voice of Joss or Amy but is the only one who can actually command her live audience. Lily - LDN Live at Bush Hall
Happily for Joss and Amy their latest albums are great.
Joss seems to becoming a British Christina Aguilera.
They are both annoying when they speak. They hark back to the great singers of the 60's and 70's. Since their teens they have been told they are 'the voice of their generation'. They both fully believe this. Their albums are a mixture of glorious pop and self-indulgence. They are often both on the Fashion/Hair police's list of most wanted.
House Wine's performance was mixed, so were her drinks - ha ha (that is my only alcohol related joke I promise)
Amy looks like a Pop Star - Tick. Amy has a wonderful voice - Tick. Amy has a brilliant second album (stand up Mr Ronson) - Tick. Amy is a character on and off the stage - Tick.
Wino is not a natural performer, she seemed nervous - Cross. Wino's mic was not loud enough - Cross. Wino's set was fairly bland - Cross.
Poor Amy attracted a flat crowd. She is only 23 and it probably isn't that inspiring to perform to a bunch of middle aged female Radio Two-ites who only leave home for Anne Summers parties and Women's Institute meetings. I felt at home. Winehouse is more used to sloshery, fuckary and piss artery; not Desperate Housewives and a hot mug of coco.
In some ways she reminded me of Peter Doherty. She forgot some words, was questionably sober and slightly on another planet. However, the truth is that Doherty is a supreme performer. He charms, compels and his fixates his followers effortlessly. Amy doesn't have this gift.
Thankfully her speaking voice seems to be improving, she didn't sound like Dean Gaffney on crack this time.
6.5 out of 10. Room for improvement but fantastic potential.
Here is my top 10 albums of the year. Chosen by 'which I would miss the most if it was taken from me'
1. Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds
As with his classic debt, Tin got two thirds of the way to a perfect album and then ran out of steam. Aided by Timbaland and Danja, Justin conjures up a pop master-class. The first six tracks merge perfectly together, a better first half you will not find (a la Justified). Will-i-am and Rick Rubin rock up later to lift the load from Timbo's shoulders adding a few more sex sounds to Timberlake's compelling sophomore LP.
1. P!nk - I'm not Dead
I couldn't choose between this and JT, he is only listed first because of the alphabet. 'Who Knew', 'U and Ur Hand' and 'Leave Me Alone Im Lonely' are unstoppable pop gems. Add in another nine very strong songs and you have a charming album, far better than her contemporaries. I didn't really like P!nk until I heard this album.
3. Jay-Z - Kingdom Come
There is something not quite right about this but I still can't put it down. I think its because he didn't really want to make this and its still the best rap album of the year. The Neptunes and Kanye West let Hova down but Justin Blaze, the Blazettes, Chris Martin (!?) and Dr Dre make-up for their embarrassment. Enjoy 44 fours live
3. Amy Winehouse - Back to Black
Wow Amy, well done. The best Soul album around. It never gets lost and showcases a talent that needs to be heard. The same style and sound remains through-out the album but because it is beautifully short you never tire of Mark Ronson's production. Needs rehab
5. Christina Aguilera - Back to Basics
Almost amazing, but not. Ruined by Xtina of course. However the first CD still has a collection of interesting pop productions that slide together happily until the last track. Most of CD 2 is terrible but it does have a couple of hits. Quality control and reality check please Christina
6. Lily Allen - Alright Still
The feisty one lived up to the hype and delivered an endearing, strong debut.
7. Nelly Furtado - Loose
Two of the best singles of the year followed up by the magic of Timbaland and Danja give Furtado a good album. It drops off in places and lacks a steady thread but a welcome change of direction by the Canadian Portuguese special lady.
8 Lupe Fiasco - Food and Liquor
A bright hope for the future of hip hop. Well produced, thoughtful songs. His only downfall is his lack of decent humour and slightly contradictory attitude.
9 Nas - Hip Hop is Dead
Essentially one of his better albums. Five or six great tracks which are far better than 99% of the other players.
10 Rhymefest - Blue Collar
Patchy album but pretty good. Rhymefest's personality translates fantastically on wax; somehow he collaborated with Ronson and the late ODB to make 'Build Me Up Buttercup' an enjoyable four minutes.
Here are my most loved songs of 2006, there are 11 of them. This is normal.
1.P!nk - Who Knew. Sounds better with each listen 2. Justin Timberlake - SexyBack- He made us dance again 3. Nelly Furtado - Maneater - Glorious 4. Robbie Williams - Lovelight - A Brand New Heavy, a Ronson and a Robbie is an electrifying combination 5. Pharrell Williams - Number One Ft Kanye West - Should have been a Michael record 6. Jay-Z - Prelude - Classic Jay 7. Amy Winehouse -Tears Dry on their own -Best track off the album 8. Nas - Cant forget about you - Vintage Esco 9. Omarion - Obsession - Probably best Neptunes of the year 10. JC Chasez - Until Yesterday - Marvelous co-writing with JT 10. The Game - Why you hate the Game Ft Nas - Just Blaze takes 'em to church in an epic nine minute adventure.
What to expect in 2007?
Britney - New album we guess. Maybe working with Pharrell, naybe not.
Duran Duran - Three tracks recorded with Timbabland and one with Justin.
Common
Maxwell - Three albums recorded and ready, one would be fine
Mariah Carey - Two albums. Again, just one would be a happy time.
Kylie - It would nice if she actually made a really good album.
D'Angelo - Its about time, lazy man. Two albums in 11 years is lame.
Usher - Working with Robin Thicke and Jay-Z. Lets hope its better then the shit shit shit Confessions album where he took the four best tracks off it because he didn't want to be linked to the Neptunes and therefore Justin...
JC Chasez - Forgotten *NSYNCer, probably be fantastic but get no press. Three tracks produced by Justin and Timbaland
Timbaland Solo Album- Justin, Nelly Furtado, Jay-Z and Elton John all on board
Talib Kweli - Ear Drum project. The four songs I have are good
Mos Def - A return to form
Joss Stone - Worked with Raphael Saadiq and Common, wise move. What I have is very strong
Eve - Its three years late luv
Air -Meant to be good
Bableshambles - I trust Peter
Amerie - First single...
T.I Fabolous Ja Rule Nelly R Kelly Foxy Brown? Mylo? Basement Jaxx?
Certainly not. Girls made most of the best music in 2006. Where other genres disappointed, Dirty Pop dominated. The Swede's (Stargate and Max Martin), Mark Ronson and Timbaland provided the guidance for the girls but they kicked it this year....
P!nk
The most under-rated singer/songwriter today. No-one knows where to put her, she has long since turned her back on her Babyface driven R&B roots. She isn't hard enough to be a full on rock chick. She is P!nk pop, delivered a classic album and the tour of the year in 2006. 'Dear Mr President' is one of the few occasions where a pop icon goes political without making you want to switch off. Sadly not used as a single but it probably would have resulted in career suicide Stateside.
'U and Ur Hand' sits nicely as a female response to the City Bankers 'Abacus' Anthem 'Gold Digger'. 'Stupid Girls' wasn't the best single but had a fantastic video. Here is the coolest performance of the year; go to 1 minute 50 Seconds
Regina Spektor
Spektor didn't deliver a classic but there is hope for that later. Her Joni Mitchell inspired songs made grown men weep (DH)
Jamelia
Nobody cared that she was back. Very sad because her album is excellent, perhaps with a couple more decent singles the British public might wake up. Jamelia is as good as anything the yanks throw at us.
Nelly Furtado
Certainly her year. She somehow managed to get away with being a loose promiscuous maneater. Two of the biggest songs of any year backed up by a strong LP.
Christina Aguilera
The curse of the double album. If this girl had any sense she would have stripped out half of the Linda Perry rubbish and only released the first CD with a few amendments. But Xtina is a brat and has no grip on reality. Harsh? No, listen to 'Thank you (dedication to Fans...)' never has anybody destroyed such as fantastic beat. Dj Premier must cry at night when he hears what she did to it. It is the worse song of 2006, so far beyond self-indulgent that it would make Michael Jackson cringe. The album shows how weird she is, the track 'F.U.S.S' (For u Scott Storch) is a diss to the washed-up producer but why is it on there? This album is the most upsetting of 2006, it has some amazing pop on the first CD and could have been a classic. Dj Premier, Mark Ronson and Kwame blessed her with wonderful production but her 'beautiful' Linda Perry mentality spoilt it.
Amy Winehouse
This was the most pleasant surprise of 2006. The ashtray mouthed drunk singer released the best soul album I can remember. Its length is perfect, short and sweet. The Ronson production is as fantastic as ever and the vocals are glorious. Well done Amy, you proved me wrong.
Beyonce
Boring live and a weak album on first listen. But, time has been kind to B-Day and on reflection it is not bad, far better than her first album. Get rid of Swizz Beatz and I will love you a lot more. 'Deja-Vu' was not well received in some quarters but for no decent reason, its a brilliant pop record; as is 'Irreplaceable'.
Ciara
The Janet Jackson killer. Good second album, dreadful interludes though.
Kelis
Mrs Jones made a solid album, even managing to get some good work from Scott Storch but really needs to get back into bed with the Neptunes
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