Public Service Announcement - The post below is a guest contribution by Filthy Few Ron Burgandy/Anchorman Firas. Fun Bongo are great friends of The Filthy Few; we love their nights and podcasts. However our musical tastes often differ greatly.
As such, Fun Bongo has scribbled all over Firas' skool report. We love de-facement. All the 'normal' text is Firas' review. Fun Bongo is responsible for all the bold text in (brackets) We have been very objective.
After a whirlwind of gigs in the last 2 weeks I've finally managed to drag my cranium out of the alcohol
(he means crack, he lives in Holloway) haze I had descended in to and sit and attempt to maintain a concentration span better than that of a goldfish. So far in writing this sentence, I've turned on the TV
(Channel U), gone to the bathroom
(don't want to know), checked on Britney's latest turn
(she is in our thoughts), brushed my teeth
(halitosis), checked my mobile phone for messages
(none) and made a cup of tea before brushing my teeth again
(definitely halitosis). This could turn out to be a long and hazardous journey pop pickers.
KASAB...(can't type the whole name; its too painful)
So first up were the wonders of Kasabian
(they are dreadful). Having been given the seal of approval by Liam Gallagher and the rest of the Oasis clan
(who? Its not 1996 anymore) - it seems as though it's given these Leicester rockers the license to further mimic the monkey moves of Liam
(Brady the former Arsenal player) and the electric song writing ability of Noel
(Coward?).
Making their return to the UK
(from where? Guantanamo Bay?) - the four
(unwashed) scruffs hammered the crowd with a barrage of hits
(I don't know the name of any of their terrible '(s)hits')and pint in the air classics
(loose use of the word) for the NME
(ugly man's Smash Hits) Awards Show. Set within the more intimate confines of Hammersmith Palais
(its an absolute shithole, I saw Justin there; he was far better) - they seemed pretty pleased to see the fee paying public again
Front man Tom Mehigan
(seriously, who?) opened the set declaring 'It's good to be back in England, you f***kers'
(you so cool Tom). Charming.
Blasting off with 'Shoot The Runner' - a technical problem
(this means one of the losers played the wrong song) meant the venue's main speakers cut out for most of the song
(what a result!). Ploughing through like true pro's though
(give them a medal), they decided to enter into a rendition of other famous
(criminal) Leicester dwellers 'Shawoddywaddy' to make amends....and boy they did.
Knocking out songs at the rate Liam knocks out baby's and photographers - the band played 15 numbers
(I think he means songs) in total - finishing on the epic
(47 minutes long) 'L.S.F.'
Intimate, small
(smelly) and special
(!!!!!). Now more used to stadiums and larger venues
(Firas' garage) - it was a privilege to see such a large band
(they are really fat) fill a room so small...
MIKA Next up was Mika who, after pulling out of his gig in Brighton, had managed to stay in and get better - thanks.
After much excitement, anticipation and a little waiting around - the man with his name at the top of both album and singles
(not anymore) charts finally appeared...well I wouldn't say appeared, more like air walked on stage
(Mika=Aled Jones) in a way that could only be described as 'Dale Winton on the snap, crackle and pop. Certain members of the press who were present were now well and truly dumbfounded by why the man won't answer questions on his sexuality
(because its really important to know, is he a gayer? Is he not? Controversial Mika, very 2007).
Opening with the little known classic
(that's going a bit far) that is 'Relax' - Mika excited the crowd, controlled the crowd and made sure that everyone had a pretty damn good time
(generous guy). Comparisons to Freddie Mercury have been around for a while, something that old Mika doesn't take too kindly too
(especially after he ripped off the Queen back catalog and bought a piano Mercury once owned) but it's easy to see why such observations have been made as he writhes around the stage like a man possessed
(call the Ghostbusters).
The stage production was outstanding - it was like the village people back in the old school
(unseen) as the lights on stage hypnotised each members of the audience (into epileptic fits). When Mika decided he wanted to sing about big ladies, he brought fat ladies on stage. When he decided he wanted to sing in the dark - someone turned the lights out...it was amazing
(it was so the fat ladies could steal your wallet).
Finishing the show with an amazing display of big balls, glitter canons, big girls, cheeky girls and two men in monkey suits - it was as if Camden's Koko had been transformed into a mystical, magical wonderland
(Neverland Raunch) - until we got outside and some kids
(Kasabian) tried to nick my phone.
(Dizzee) Rascals.
THE KILLERS Finally, perhaps the gig I was excited about the most. I think everyone has an album from a particular time in their life that acts as a soundtrack to said particular time
(For me its Spice Girls - Forever, people ignore the brilliant Darkchild production). For me it's the Killers album 'Hot Fuss'
(how 'out there' to like the Killers), quite possibly one of the most listened to albums on my iPod
(what about the James Blunt live Bedlum album?) - the chance to catch the Vegas' group live on stage was all too much. It had to be done
(no it didn't).
Seeing them on interviews and in the press before had never impressed me
(they are absoulte tossers, even their parents hate them). They came across as morons on more than one
(every) occasion - once when I saw them on the TV at an awards ceremony where they looked about as disinterested as George Michael at a beauty pageant
(don't get it).
What they lack in personality
(is a lot) though they make up for in their music
(debatable). Taking a short break between songs lead singer 'Brandon
(The Ego) Flowers' admitted 'I wasn't born with the gift of the gab
(what gift was he born with? The gift of slagging off glorious EMO?) , but that was, and this song is....'. Super.
Where's Liam Gallagher to incite some riot or mosh of some sort when you need him
(Liam was at an All Saints gig at Bromley Primary).
Unfortunately it seems that Las Vegas weather has gone to their head and they've never been programmed with the ability to make a descent set-list
(songs). As the encore came, they'd seemingly covered the large majority of their stompers. Mr Brightside would've been the perfect close to the show - there was a worry that these Yanks had burn't out early. Not so.
Blisteringly good. I do actually have blisters on my feet now to prove it - they will be on ebay next week in the form of dead skin.
