Robyn LIVE Konichiwa Jade!

Another week and another Swedish chick was in town to impress FunBongo and Albert Hoxton. Once again, we were joined by Disco .

Robyn - Konichiwa Bitches



Robyn - Cobrastyle

Disco said 'Sack the stylist'
Funbongo said' Not as good as The Sounds last week but better than the new Cardio Wave machine in the gym'
Albert said 'Where was Batman?'



Robyn - Jack You Off

Here is some of what it says about Robyn on www.robyn.com

'...(Robyn is) The most killingest pop star on the planet. A pint-sized atom bomb dosed to the tits on electric and dispensing wisdom in three-minute modernist pop bulletins on the post-adolescent condition...'

Robyn - Be Mine



We liked Robyn, she showed some good hustle.

The brilliantly titled album (Robyn, what a genius) is out on Monday. The cheapest place to buy it will be eMusic if you are a member. She is no longer signed to Sony and has started her own record label (Konichiwa Bitches), predicting that the major Record Labels will be out of business in 3 years. Mmmmm

Robyn - List Of Demands (Live)

The Sounds LIVE!

There were two types of people at this gig (I don't mean boys and girls): Trendies and Emo's. Trendies to the back, Emo's to the front. Me, Albert and Disco were, of course, kickin' it with the Emo kids. Quite literally actually, this underage lesbian couple in front of us were really 'sad' and kept waving their sweaty bingo wings in Albert's face so he kicked them. They seemed to like it so he stopped.

The Sounds - Song With A Mission



According to Albertpedia, The Sounds were discovered by Sven Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. They were busking outside Ikea moaning about the minimum wage and the Poll Tax. The rest is history.

The Sounds - Queen Of Apology (Fall Out Boy Mix)



Back to the gig. It was fantastic. Their music is good but not amazing. However, the performance was atsonishing. Maja Ivarsson is an incredible lady, she was a beast in the best possible way. She spat on stage in true 'Roy of The Rovers' fashion and staged dived twice. The first time she leapt into the crowd she groped Albert. Maybe it was the other way round; I couldn't tell from the yelp.

The Sounds - Painted By Numbers



So we give The Sounds 9.8 out of 11.2.

The Sounds - Hurt You

The only downside was the venue, the Carling Academy in Angel is horsesh!t. Its deafeningly loud and far too dark.



The Sounds - Night After Night

FYI The Islington Carling Academy stewards administer the most vigorous frisk that you will ever experience. Some people might like that, Albert went back 8 times. They failed to find his machete, suckers.

Exclusive Toxic Avenger Remix!

The Toxic Avenger



Filthy Firas discovered this French chap, he was appearing on 'Starz in Their Eyes' with Matthew Kelly. Toxic Avenger was doing a Daft Punk song, probably that geography one called Around The World. On the very same episode Albert was appearing as The Sugababes Vs Girls Aloud



Here is the awesome remix, it sounds a bit like Daft Punk - Human After All and The Prime Time Of Your Life but then develops into a fantastic track.

Sexual Earthquakes In Kobe - Dance Music (Toxic Avenger Mix)

Joss Kicks Amy and Lily to the curb

USA Billboard Chart Entries

Joss Stone - Introducing Joss Stone = Number 2
Amy Winehouse - Back to Black - Number 7
Lily Allen - Alright Still - Number 20

The UK seems disinterested. However over 100 000 Yanks lapped it up this week, Shucks! All even more impressive given the huge push Universal have given Wino Stateside. Mo' Money Mo' Problems, go where you are loved young Joscelyn.



Ignoring chart positions, we love them all. Amy the least though because she slagged off Joss and was rubbish before she met Mark Ronson. Britain now has the three best 'Urban' female artists in the world. A very debatable claim (we will make it anyway, leave a comment if you disagree).

Albert says

'Is Mika one of dem three girls? Phuck Mary J Blige AKA The most over-rated artist of all time, the Brits gals rule A-OK'

Joss Stone - Girl They Won't Believe It

Ghostface Killah - You Know Im No Good Ft Amy Winehouse

Lily Allen - LDN Live

Here is the strangest content I have seen on iTunes...

Lily Allen - You Get Me (video)
Lily Allen - You're Out Of Luck (video)
Lily Allen - Laters (video)
Lily Allen - He is Just A Flash (video)
Lily Allen - Stop Giving Me Beef (video)
Lily Allen - The Party Was Nang (video)

Mika - Stuck In The Middle

Remixy

I just made this logo, its slightly terrible. Anyway it gets the point across. We are now going to be posting remixes by Filthy Few Firas and Albert/Fun Bongo.

We are very busy with gigs, yoga, pilates, confession, blogging, back scratching, 'networking', solving social injustice, jaywalking, freestyling, nose picking, torture, the Cricket World Cup, ping pong, math, Djing, throwing up gang signs and midwifery that we might not be that quick at makin' them.

Here are the first two for free

Late Of The Pier - Space And The Woods (Filthy Few Mix)

Produced by Firas, Christian K and John Dean


The Dirge - Good Ones (Funbongo Mix)

Produced by Albert Hoxton

Albert says

'Yo is the camera rollin'? Peep the sugar. Anyway, I have heard hella lota tripe in my years in Monaco and especially Hoxton... these aren't as good as Daft Punk but are better than Justice remixes. Me just got the Natasha Bedders promo, 5 nicens, that one with Adam Marooney 5 is aight me guess'

Rehab pals, nice work Bobbie



How could we not predict Bob's stay in 'hab?

Listen to this from the cult classic, Rudebox

Robbie Williams - Good Doctor

Air LIVE! Akon Vs The Crazy Frog

In the bleak mid winter we headed north (Kentish Town) to catch up with France's second best group. No, not Phoenix but Air.

At times they were mesmerising, mostly they were lazy. Sure, it was impressive to watch them play much of their back catalog with guitars and a collection of mad keyboards but they did nothing else. They said about 12 words to the crowd all night and did not move from their spots; apart from to readjust their dangerously tight white trousers.

Air - Napalm Love



Air - Alpha Beta Gaga Ft Rhymefest (Mark Ronson Remix)

They should have have had a video DJ to complement their soudtrack.



The also had no guest vocalists and failed to perform their best song

Air - You Make It Easy



Air - Kelly Watch The Stars



Gwen Stefani - What Are You Waiting For (The Tick Tock Song)? (Jaques Lu Cont Mix)



The Killers - Read My Mind (Pet Shop Boys Mix)

The Killers think EMO is dangerous, they are most EMO band of them all...



Justin Timberlake - Boutique In Heaven

LCD Soundsystem LIVE!

While Firas was gettin' down with the Fire shoppers Albert took me across town to something quite different. Mayor Albert told me that we were going to see a fat, ugly American man who shouts a lot; I thought he meant Meatloaf. Imagine my surprise. Imagine Albert's surprise when it wasn't The Gossip (they are ok really).



Playing to a packed house James Murphy and Co did not disappoint. I wasn't a fan before but I am now.

He sounds like that thing off Sesame Street on this song

New York I Love You But Your Bringing Me Down



North American Scum

Watch The Tapes



This is a short post because I am feeling very EMO tonight, bye bye for now.

Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around (Junkie XL Mix)

Arcade Fire LIVE

As soon as I realised that Arcade Fire was not a Canadian super group featuring Celine Dion and Shania Twain I lost interest. So Fun Bongo sent the king of unsigned music, Filthy Few's Firas, to find out what all the fuss is about...

Here is Firas' 50 Cent on their show, the bold stuff is Funbongo chatter

Arcade Fire



Arcade Fire were simply amazing to watch live.

Admittedly I'd never really heard any of their music prior to the gig; it was one of those last minute things that turned out to be a riot (not of the May Day variety).

Selling out an impressive 4 straight (G-A-Y is at the Astoria) nights at Brixton Academy (they found a cheap hotel there and got lazy), their sound was strangely compelling. I mean, they graced the cover of Time magazine; it doesn't get much bigger than that hey Jigga? (I dont see how these sentences link together)




Touted by some as a bit of an 'internet success' - David Bowie was apparently pivotal in getting them the attention they needed (this is all a bit vague isn't it?).

On stage they simply oozed charisma and charm. Their music came to life and captured emotions (rage, fear, greed, envy...) It showed someone who is perhaps enjoying a little too much of the synth at the minute that it's good to go old school every now and then. (I think he means using guitars and stuff; nothing to do with that Will Ferrell film)

The guys boasted an impressive band and instrumental set-up that even (Sir) Jools Holland wouldn't shake his rhythm and blues stick at.



Heavily independent and big believers of producing their own output (although they are signed to a major). They are apparently confirmed for Glastonbury this summer, the new album Neon Bible is out now - if you've not already, check them out. (Count me out, bunch of Bible bashers by the sounds of it)

Did you know ARCADE FIRE STYLIE....??? (errrr nope, lets keep it that way)

They share the same manager as Bjork...(he also manages H from Steps and Rik Waller, sorry guys I am not posting any pictures of them)



Babyshambles Ft Kate Moss - La Belle Et La Bete

Chris Martin of Coldplay and Gwennie fame (in case you didn't know) called Arcade Fire 'the greatest band in history' while performing at a concert in Ontario.....(what a suck up, Canada knows that Duran Duran are the greatest band in history)

Jay-Z - Beach Chair Ft Chistov Martin

Chrisov Martin has also contributed to the embarrassment that will surely be Hip Hop producer Swizz Beatz' solo album. So don't take anything Martin says too seriously. If you do you will probably end up in rehab on suidice watch listening to sh!tting 'Yellow'.

Joss Stone - There Is Nothing Better Than

Firas' next Filthy Few Night is Thursday April 12th at Bar Music Hall in Hoxton/Shoreditch. Funbongo will be on the CD thingies. Checkout his Podcast for the world's finest unsigned music

Filthy Few LIVE!

Firas landed in Hoxton again for installment number five of Filthy Few LIVE!. This time there was no teenage singer covered in bubblewrap spazzing needlessly out of control. None of the DJ's had the guts to play Britney Spears and Albert kept his trousers on.

However, it was a triumphant evening.



Hulk Hogan described it as

'Classy; a regal testament to parenting, an essential social glue in a time of shadows and strangers. A real competitor to Wrestlemania'

Firas managed to sift through the rubbish on myspace and find three incredible live acts. DJ's Rachel Barton, Christian K and The STDJ's are obviously no match for the mighty DJ Funbongo but they kept the crowd jigging with some 'banging' tunes. There were a few complaints about a distinct lack of 'Ja Rule' but that's an area for improvement.



First up were the Frenchies 'Madamawitch'.



Funbongo Says: Moody Funk

Firas Filthy Few Says: Two parts French, one part English - Carol wowed the crowd with her enchanting vocals as Funbongo 'lorded' it up at the front dressed in his favourite village people get up

The (Mighty) Svengalis



Funbongo says: Good for a band with guitars, fantastic banter with the crowd and genuinely entertaining.

Firas Filthy Few screams: The Svengalis demonstrated their worth with rip roaring tunage, and entertaining segue banter. Energetic songs with well written lyrics showed why these guys are considered hot property at the minute akin to the Cajun Dance Party sort of VIBE!

The Neon Plastix



Funbongo says: Duran Duran meets Clockwork Orange - a real treat.

Firas Filthy Few yelps: The final act had down trekked down to Londres Town from far up North (Funbongo get a map) - with their electronic key's and synths. The Neon Plastix, put on a sterling performance for the Filthy Few masses - we loved it, they loved it, everyone loved it. All was gravy.

Madamawitch Myspace

Svengalis Myspace

Neon Plastix Myspace

Here is an interesting song Firas played: Metronomy - Black Eye / Burnt Thumb

Lastly, Fall Out Boy covering Firas' favourite Ne-Yo song: Fall Out Boy - So Sick

Take Justice And Party

Justice have two fantastic records.

D.A.N.C.E and Never Be Alone


The rest of their stuff is generally woeful. Their DJing is very average.


However the atmosphere was unbelievable, inexplicable actually. What is all the fuss about? They look cool but offer very little. The crowd acted like they were at a Take That concert in 1994.


Students and drugs = Sweaty pandemonium.

Here is a the best song I have heard/bought today by miles...

Gym Class Heroes - Clothes Off Ft Fall Out Boy?

The Bird and Bee Live. Will Young Meets Soma

The kind mofos over at Regal are giving their first single away free, its called 'f*cking boyfriend' download it here



A wonderfully low-key performance, you could hear a munkie burb. The band were 'tight', Greg was a rock (not The Rock from WWF sadly) on the keys and Inara sang her beautiful heart out. The album (or LP to older Funbongites) was up on iTunes but they have taken it down; presumably to concentrate on further promotion. Their brilliant remix of The Flaming Lips is here though...



Here is a beautiful Joss song

Common and Joss Stone 'The Light' f**king awesome






Funbongo's very own Soma was harassed by Bill Young for a picture. Being a 'girl of da ppl' she obliged the pop factor.

Albert caught up with him to ask a few questions. Here is how the banter went:

Albert: When can we hear sum nu material (give a chop)?

Bill: Not for a while, I am working with Greg (from Bird and the Bee) though...

Albert: How would you rate Jordan in bed on a scale of 4-11?

Bill: ik.....

Bill Young walks off


Joss Stone, Common and Raphael Saadiq Live

DJ Tam Tam

The world's prettiest DJ smashes it in Hackney's hottest spots.

DJ Tam Tam

DJ James Brown's Black Lips Live

Albert threw on his best Hoxton threads to wander across the line into Shoreditch. He moshed, mashed and mished to The Black Lips.



Playing to the Vice endorsed audience at The Old Blue Last, The Black Lips certainly put on a show. Their songs are far better live than on their myspace page.




They look like a grown-up Fall Out Boy. They are not EMO; a good thing but also a bad thing. They 'rock'.

Unrelated to this... Here is the first four minutes of DJ Premier's amazing two hour Hip Hop Tribute to James Brown

DJ Premier Salutes James Brown (The Foundation Of Hip Hop)

Jay-Z Vs Justice Ft Mark Ronson

DJ Vibe and Max - Show Me How To D.A.N.C.E

Ripped from Mark Ronson's brilliant podcast

It features Jay-Z over Justice and Mark Ronson tracks. Check it out.

Joss Stone Live... Josstina

God Only Knows

Joss (born '87) is one of those lucky pop stars who can be recognised in musical conversation without their surname. Others include:

Lily...Allen
Mariah...Carey
Conall...Cassidy
Britney...Spears
Shabba...Ranks
Alanis...Morissette
Fat...Joe
Robbie...Williams
Gwen...Stefani
Albert...Hoxton
Kylie...Minogue

Funbongo does not think she has gone all Americano on us



Joss - Put Your Hands On Me



This was the strangest gig of the year with Joss arriving an hour, not two and a half hours late. Sadly for her she was singing to a very skeptical industry heavy crowd. Josshua did herself no favours by naively starting the performance with a collection of new songs the crowd didn't know. The first half of the show was limp (without the Bizkit)



After 45 minutes of confusion and rambling Joss said goodnight and left the stage. The crowd was so disinterested they could barely generate enough noise to inspire the customary encore.



To her credit Joss saved the show with the second half; it was fantastic. She finally played to the crowd by performing some songs they knew. Joss then upped the ante during a 20 minute jamming session with her band; it was world class. Having struggled to adapt to the poor KOKO sound system in the first half, she bossed the stage and showcased the mouthwatering musicianship of her Raphael Saadiq led band. Renditions of 'Son of a Preacher Man' and Luther's 'Never Too Much' finally gave the crowd something to cheer about.



Joss' gig/showcase received a lot of bad press, some of it was justified. I am not really sure why the Winehouse thought she should take shots at Joss during her BBC 1 Session (aired 09/03/07). Those in glass houses Amy...

The BBC session seems to have been filmed on Wednesday, just before Amy Housewine went on the lash and canceled her two London gigs. It was horrible performance, a real let down for her fans. Joss may have played a misguided set but she wasn't drunk and actually wanted to be there.



Step forward Lily, she may not have the voice of Joss or Amy but is the only one who can actually command her live audience.

Lily - LDN Live at Bush Hall



Happily for Joss and Amy their latest albums are great.

Joss seems to becoming a British Christina Aguilera.

They are both annoying when they speak.
They hark back to the great singers of the 60's and 70's.
Since their teens they have been told they are 'the voice of their generation'.
They both fully believe this.
Their albums are a mixture of glorious pop and self-indulgence.
They are often both on the Fashion/Hair police's list of most wanted.