Good work boys, finally you make a song with some melody and purpose. D.A.N.C.E is glorious, their best song yet. A pulsating combination of Michael Jackson inspired lyrics gyrating over a wonderful threesome comprising Cassius '1999', Gorillaz 'Dirty Harry' and whatever Mark Ronson sampled on 'Ooh Wee'
NOTE TO JUSTICE: Please adhere to all the funky cliches of French house and ignore the horrible 'fox in a blender' sound that has plagued most of your work.
As a 'bonus' find P!nk covering two of her pop idols: Janis Joplin and the lesbian hero Linda Perry. Perry destroyed most of her credibility by siding with Christina over P!nk. To compound her first error she then also signed James Blunt. It is not possible to buy these anywhere and I had to use about 47 programs to encode them so enjoy.
The Jay-Z track is his latest 'diss' to the hopeless Jim Jones and Dipset. Jay hardly bothers, he just chats and proclaims himself 'The Black 007, James Bond'. Dipset's lameness highlights the weak state of New York rap. Step up Papoose please.....
I am so EMO right now it hurts. I missed most of Fall Out Boy's performance :(
I like these guys. They are part of the Jigga Jay-Z approved quartet of Rock bands (Coldplay, U2, Linkin Park and Fall Out Boy). Its no coincidence they are the four biggest rock bands is the USA. I don't believe he loves any of them like a child but he sees the $$$$/crossover appeal. The latest Fall Out Boy promo video features a young fan throwing up Jay-Z's Rocafella sign, he is their boss at Def Jam and they adore him.
The Klaxons
Klaxons? Albert and I misheard, we thought we were going to see The Jacksons. Tears fell as three smelly men came to the stage instead of Tito and the gang.
The Klaxons are too loud, not Fun Bongo. We don't like them and think they are very Hoxton 2005. Sadly for them they weren't worthy of my camera. However their cover version of Justin Timberlake isn't half bad.
The problem with covering or remixing a near perfect song is that you are unlikely to better the original. People should cover and remix dreadful songs. Justin Timberlake should cover the Wacksons and get Timblaland to remix it. That would be Fun Bongo.
She was also perturbed that The Jacksons didn't rock up.
I am fairly indifferent towards her. We were a bit offended when she moaned about there being too many EMO's in the crowd; that hurt. In fact I was flabbergasted by some of her foul language. Silly bitch.
We must give her credit though, she kept us entertained for four songs. A huge 'shout out' to her PR and record company who have created this belief that she is 'big' in America.
Really? How do you define that? I haven't seen her smashing up the Billboard Charts. Sure, she has a presence over there but she is hardly competing with her US contemporaries. Lady may be signed to Def Jam and has worked with Missy Elliot but does this mean she is 'big' stateside? Remember, Missy once worked with Melanie B...
Hailing from LA LA Land these animals present their self-titled debut. Its very 'sweet' but also quirky. They are like a good version of Frou Frou, who only really made one good song 'Must be Dreaming'.
The album isn't out to March but Bravo! for iTunes; its on there already. Here are the best songs
Cool video, its very Hoxton and has Apple Mac in it
LCD Soundsystem The Sound of Silver is also out in March. It has leaked all over the place. Hear some of it here without the fear of the FEDs knocking down your door. The best song, not on myspace or iTunes, is 'New York I love You But Your Bringing Me Down'. It is politically charged and almost totally beautiful.
French wizards Air return to our CD players in March with 'Pocket Symphony'. Nine of the twelve offerings have already spilt their guts all over the broadband community. So far they haven't disappointed; beautifully crafted four minute ear candy adventures. The piano is dominant through-out, as are traditionally glorious 'Moon Safari' echoing string arrangements.
The French and English really do love each other, the collaborations on this album prove it. Jarvis Cocker pops up on 'One Hell of a Party', I am never convinced by him, he looks like a wash-outed Hoxtonite. Neil from The Divine Comedy is much better, his contribution is a treat.
There is no real link between The Halliwell and Air but its the Brits soon and so their unrelated antics popped back into my mind. Even more reason to feel indifferent to over-rated Cocker.
I agree with Clever Ape Boy Damo Albarn who told Uncut
"I've always had a problem with Jarvis' stance on that, I found it really disturbing when he pulled his pants down in front of Michael Jackson, that just seemed totally wrong. If someone is sick, he's not open to ridicule"
He continued "He's got some very odd ideas about reality. I think it's a collective responsibility to say 'No you can't go and do what you're doing', not just to ridicule him...The world is not full of cunts; we have a collective responsibility not to slag people off and instead try to understand them."
Air and the Amazing Phoenix Live: Kelly Watch the Stars
Once a upon a dream in foggy London Town Jay Kay and Mike Skinner stumbled into Jeff Goldblum's 'Fly' machine together. The result was 'Just Jack'.
Just Jack's 'Overtones' album is the best of 2007 so far (granted, not hard).
I saw him on the Television. I don't have a Television and given that Dave Berry and Davina McCall are still employed doesn't inspire me to get one. The current single 'Starz in their eyes' isn't a classic, I immediately noticed his vocal delivery sounded like T.I's 'Why u wanna'. Maybe its on purpose but it slightly annoys me. Thankfully the rest of the album is better than this single.
The best part of the album is when he shouts out my local watering hole 'Dream Bags Jaguar Shoes'. He fails to address it by its full name and calls it 'Jaguar Shoes', he also doesn't really mention it in a strictly positive context but I don't care.
I don't want to say much about this dude because everyone else is. He is good, he does sound just like Queen, Jake Shears and every other gayer that makes pop music. I like his output but prefer Just Jack. I also wonder if Mika is an alien (descendant of ET perhaps; look at his feet)
A welcome return for little Kylie. I am not a huge Minogue fan but she is a very accomplished live performer; far better (vocally and economically) than Cher's older sister, Madonna. Speaking of sisters, Danii helped out on 'Kids', thankfully replacing the 'Bono' who performed the song in Australia.
The only negative point about the Showgirl experience was the banning of photography within the arena. This is my excuse for not such amazing pictures this time; I was constantly engaged in a battle of wits with the evil stewards to get my flick flick on.
'Spinning Around' was the best track. Instead of the traditional arrangement K sang over 90's house classics Ce Ce Peniston's 'Finally' and The Brothers in Rhythm's 'Such a good Feeling'. Its not her new CD but is on iTunes: Spinning Around
This is almost a mute point but it seemed a good way to link a bunch of artists I wanted to mention.
What is the 'Ghetto pass'? Well, its an imaginary nod of approval from the black community to a white artist making 'black music'. Does it really exist? Not really; apart from on the internet. It can be quite fickle and some get it easier than others. Its stupid because 'Urban' music has become the biggest selling mass music genre in the world and so the imaginary approval of the black community is not necessary - they don't represent a large enough percentage of the record buying market. Urban music has become so popular that most of it is actually 'pop' now anyway. Here are some of the white folk that have applied for the pass: See Stefani and the L.A.M.B
Oh Gweny Gwen Gwen, what happened with the second album? Artists should realise its never good to admit that your 'new' album is made up of the left overs from the last one. It doesn't sound good does it? She caught Pharrell on terrible form and we have 'Wind it up' and 'Yummy' as a result. I hate to admit it but the highlight of the album is the track written by Akunt, I mean Akon. Sweet Escape (iTunes Link)
Gwen obtained her ghetto pass from Dr Dre and Eve. After her latest effort she should send it back and hollaback to No Doubt sooner rather than later.
Thicke Robin
Robin is the former lead singer of his totally unknown band 'Thicke'. He has been around for ages and done zip commercially. In the last few years he has written some very average songs for Will Young and Ronan Keating. Its unfortunate really because he is very talented. He is a victim of writing too many bland songs, poor/non-existent marketing and record company politics. For every great tune he composes there are four totally forgettable ones, his album suffers as a consequence.
He was signed by the confusing Pharrell Williams two years ago and the album got pushed back with every Pharrell delay. The album leaked (not that anyone really knew who he was to download it) and was then rehashed and released late last year. It got no real press. I wanted to put some itunes links on here but its not even been put on there; what a mess...
Poor Robin has been granted a ghetto pass and is well loved by bloggers (we all love posting pictures of him when he had long hair and looked like Jesus Christ Superstar) but is not destined to be star in his own right; he will have to be content writing the new Usher LP.
Here he is with the best 'Lil' rapper, Wayne
By Jamie Scott
Alas! Jamie never got the chance to apply for a pass, he was criminally dumped by his record company after 'just' (the name of one of his songs) two singles. He is currently living on Myspace trying to get signed to another major. Good luck
The interesting looking one. Fergie, bless her, isn't taken seriously enough for anyone to question the validity of her Ghetto Pass. For some reason she gave up singing when she went solo and made some very strange songs. Her album has a few ok songs but is mainly a rushed Will-i-am side project. Maybe he never forgave her for erasing one of his songs off his Apple Mac during a hilarious practical joke. Big Girls Dont Cry (iTunes link)
Just Timberlake
Vibe recently revoked Justin's ghetto pass because of Janet Jackson's Nipplegate and these lyrics:
“Could you speak up and stop mumbling / I don’ t think you’re even clear / When you’re sitting on the top / It’s hard to hear you from way up there / I saw you tryin’ to act cute on TV / ‘Just let me clear the air’ / We missed you on the charts last week / Damn, that’s right. You wasn’t there.”
They believe Justin is mouthing off about Janet Jackson. Actually its far more likely he is talking about Kevin Federline, it makes much more sense with the timing of the track's recording and Federline's failed album. Anyway, who gives a shit about Janet? Her last two albums have been terrible, a huge blow to her, Jermaine Dupri and Virgin Records. If she expects to shift units into her 40's she has to make good music that is at least as radio friendly as Ciara and Rihanna.
Vibe's stance is an extremely weak one given the evidence they are basing it on. Justin's hugely successful current album (almost 3 million sold in the USA) and a new video with Scarlett Johansson show he doesn't need their imaginary pass. My Love D-Cup Send up
They would be better spent lamenting Eminem's abuse of Michael Jackson. BET (Black Entertainment Television) banned his video because he was attacking a black idol. Very strange indeed. Eminem should not have gone at Michael Jackson, not because 'Eminem is a white guy making black music', but because its disrespectful to a great artist and worst still, Slim Shady himself. Eminem is one of the most talented rappers of all time, what skill is there in going at such an easy and defenseless target as Michael Jackson? Wow, Michael Jackson is crazy, well done on picking up on that Eminem, really clever.
Marshall and Kevy (not that he ever got one) are much better candidates for de-ghettofying (maybe not a word) Fed-X and Eminem should watch this amazing clip.....
Lebron James. This isn't relevant but is mighty clever..
Here is my top 10 albums of the year. Chosen by 'which I would miss the most if it was taken from me'
1. Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds
As with his classic debt, Tin got two thirds of the way to a perfect album and then ran out of steam. Aided by Timbaland and Danja, Justin conjures up a pop master-class. The first six tracks merge perfectly together, a better first half you will not find (a la Justified). Will-i-am and Rick Rubin rock up later to lift the load from Timbo's shoulders adding a few more sex sounds to Timberlake's compelling sophomore LP.
1. P!nk - I'm not Dead
I couldn't choose between this and JT, he is only listed first because of the alphabet. 'Who Knew', 'U and Ur Hand' and 'Leave Me Alone Im Lonely' are unstoppable pop gems. Add in another nine very strong songs and you have a charming album, far better than her contemporaries. I didn't really like P!nk until I heard this album.
3. Jay-Z - Kingdom Come
There is something not quite right about this but I still can't put it down. I think its because he didn't really want to make this and its still the best rap album of the year. The Neptunes and Kanye West let Hova down but Justin Blaze, the Blazettes, Chris Martin (!?) and Dr Dre make-up for their embarrassment. Enjoy 44 fours live
3. Amy Winehouse - Back to Black
Wow Amy, well done. The best Soul album around. It never gets lost and showcases a talent that needs to be heard. The same style and sound remains through-out the album but because it is beautifully short you never tire of Mark Ronson's production. Needs rehab
5. Christina Aguilera - Back to Basics
Almost amazing, but not. Ruined by Xtina of course. However the first CD still has a collection of interesting pop productions that slide together happily until the last track. Most of CD 2 is terrible but it does have a couple of hits. Quality control and reality check please Christina
6. Lily Allen - Alright Still
The feisty one lived up to the hype and delivered an endearing, strong debut.
7. Nelly Furtado - Loose
Two of the best singles of the year followed up by the magic of Timbaland and Danja give Furtado a good album. It drops off in places and lacks a steady thread but a welcome change of direction by the Canadian Portuguese special lady.
8 Lupe Fiasco - Food and Liquor
A bright hope for the future of hip hop. Well produced, thoughtful songs. His only downfall is his lack of decent humour and slightly contradictory attitude.
9 Nas - Hip Hop is Dead
Essentially one of his better albums. Five or six great tracks which are far better than 99% of the other players.
10 Rhymefest - Blue Collar
Patchy album but pretty good. Rhymefest's personality translates fantastically on wax; somehow he collaborated with Ronson and the late ODB to make 'Build Me Up Buttercup' an enjoyable four minutes.
Here are my most loved songs of 2006, there are 11 of them. This is normal.
1.P!nk - Who Knew. Sounds better with each listen 2. Justin Timberlake - SexyBack- He made us dance again 3. Nelly Furtado - Maneater - Glorious 4. Robbie Williams - Lovelight - A Brand New Heavy, a Ronson and a Robbie is an electrifying combination 5. Pharrell Williams - Number One Ft Kanye West - Should have been a Michael record 6. Jay-Z - Prelude - Classic Jay 7. Amy Winehouse -Tears Dry on their own -Best track off the album 8. Nas - Cant forget about you - Vintage Esco 9. Omarion - Obsession - Probably best Neptunes of the year 10. JC Chasez - Until Yesterday - Marvelous co-writing with JT 10. The Game - Why you hate the Game Ft Nas - Just Blaze takes 'em to church in an epic nine minute adventure.
What to expect in 2007?
Britney - New album we guess. Maybe working with Pharrell, naybe not.
Duran Duran - Three tracks recorded with Timbabland and one with Justin.
Common
Maxwell - Three albums recorded and ready, one would be fine
Mariah Carey - Two albums. Again, just one would be a happy time.
Kylie - It would nice if she actually made a really good album.
D'Angelo - Its about time, lazy man. Two albums in 11 years is lame.
Usher - Working with Robin Thicke and Jay-Z. Lets hope its better then the shit shit shit Confessions album where he took the four best tracks off it because he didn't want to be linked to the Neptunes and therefore Justin...
JC Chasez - Forgotten *NSYNCer, probably be fantastic but get no press. Three tracks produced by Justin and Timbaland
Timbaland Solo Album- Justin, Nelly Furtado, Jay-Z and Elton John all on board
Talib Kweli - Ear Drum project. The four songs I have are good
Mos Def - A return to form
Joss Stone - Worked with Raphael Saadiq and Common, wise move. What I have is very strong
Eve - Its three years late luv
Air -Meant to be good
Bableshambles - I trust Peter
Amerie - First single...
T.I Fabolous Ja Rule Nelly R Kelly Foxy Brown? Mylo? Basement Jaxx?
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